that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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