I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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