His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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