Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
