i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
