Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize