i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
