I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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