Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize