like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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