Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
what day is it and did you see me today?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
