Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
