I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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