Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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