How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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