So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
