In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Pants are for mortals
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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