well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
