the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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