morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
