dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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