I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
