Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
