Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize