Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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