I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Farmville is her only friend.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
