So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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