you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Randomize
