I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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