Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
