we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I want a musical about memes.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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