I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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