She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
