having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
