First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
