No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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