he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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