I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You are the jesus of drinking
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
