Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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