Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
