you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
