Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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