So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
