READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
