All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
