I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
