WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
