I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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