The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We had sex on a dog bed..
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
