i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
