Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
