You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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