I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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