I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
