i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
