Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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