69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Randomize
