To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize