youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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