i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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