just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
