3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
this will be a night to untag.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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