what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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