Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
A bitchslap is in order.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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