you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
