very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
