nut hugger
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
FUCK WHALES
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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