So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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