we made out on top of his cat.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
