In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
