JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
