her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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