my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
tell me about the fingering
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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